Who Wants To Be Annoying?
by FancyJumper
Summary: These are just a whole bunch of ways to annoy the Twilight characters :D Shhhhhh I was bored.
1. Chapter 1

Who Wants To Be Annoying?

_**These are just a whole bunch of ways to annoy the Twilight characters :D Shhhhhh I was bored.**_

Tell Rosalie that u can see her panty line in those jeans.

Tell Alice that her house has burned down along with all her clothes.

Give Jacob a hug and say, "I wuvs my puppy!"

Make a doctor appointment with Carlisle and when he walks in run screaming out of the room.

Tell Carlisle he is unnatural after he has completed a surgery. He should at least drool or something.

Get high on sugar and hang out with Jasper all day.

Get Alice excited by telling her your gonna go shopping with her and then send her to Jasper.

Steal Edward's piano and replace it with an electrical one that will only play drum beats when you press the keys.

Crash Emmett's jeep.

Take Alice's porche and replace it with a busted up, rusting car.

Steal Charlie's police cruiser and go around arresting people.

Have a wild house party when Esme is gone hunting.

Set trip wires all over Bella's house.

Take all of Edward's CDs and replace them with rap ones.

Take Renesmee's IPod and delete all her songs and put Charlie the Unicorn on.

Tell Mike Newton that Bella really does love him and that Edward just won't let her go.

Tell Jessica that Mike is cheating on her with Bella

Tell Edward that Bella is cheating on him with Mike

When Bella complains about having to drive crazy fast cars, make her drive a ride-on lawnmower around.

Run up to Jacob and tell him it's time for his walk.

Attempt to put a leash on him.

Yell, "Bad doggie!" at him when he won't let you.

Tell Rosalie that her dress makes her look fat.

Tell Jasper that he was probably in girl scouts, not the military.


	2. Chapter 2

Put blue dye in their water tank so when they take a shower they all turn blue.

Email Edward obsessively.

Cut all of the strings on Edward's piano.

Sing Charlie the Unicorn every time you see Charlie.

Tell Edward to stop molesting your mind.

Run over to Emmett, slap him, and run away.

Hit Jacob with a crowbar.

Ask Jacob what breed he is.

Tell Renesmee that it is illegal to marry an animal.

Tell the Cullen men that sparkling is not manly.

Tell the werewolves that busting out of their clothes at inopportune moments is not cool.

Put dog treats in a trail leading from Jacob's house into the forest.

When he doesn't come, tell him that dogs are supposed to be faithful and then start crying.

Tell Rosalie that the BMW is her favorite car because that's the only one that she can spell.

When Jacob annoys you, throw a stick and tell him to fetch it for you.

Steal all of their cars and replace them with push-mowers.

When they get mad, tell them that they were becoming a danger to humans everywhere.

Paint Edward's Volvo bubble-gum pink.

Bark at Jacob.

Whenever the werewolves come by, plug your nose and ask if someone forgot to take the dog out.

Tell Emmett dirty jokes so he can go and repeat them to Edward. Repeatedly.

Run around Esme's house with muddy boots on.

Tell Emmett that he is not allowed around children anymore since he might mistake them for footballs.

Make Rosalie realize just how dumb Emmett really is.

Smear Alice and Rosalie's make-up all over their mirrors.

Write Mike Newton's phone number in lipstick on Bella's mirror and leave it there for Edward to find.

Tell Emmett that you found his steroids.

Tell Emmett that steroids destroy brain cells, then wait a second and, very quietly, say 'that explains it.'


	3. Chapter 3

Run around trying to jab Carlisle with a needle yelling, "How does it feel now, huh?"

Play 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' whenever Edward comes into the room

Rig the Cullen's door so when they open it, it sings 'This Is Halloween' by Marilyn Manson

Dress up as a vampire for Halloween and try to bite Bella in front of Edward

Sing 'Papercut' by Linkin Park whenever Jasper and/or Edward are around

Scream and run in circles whenever you see one of the Cullens

Plan to steal all of Alice's clothes, and when she freaks out because she 'saw' it, tell her that you thought she would want them to go down the rabbit hole with her.

Tell them that they don't exist because vampires aren't real

Tell Edward that Jacob attacked Bella while she was visiting him at La Push

Throw random stuff at the werewolves, and when they dodge it and look at you like you're crazy, say, 'sorry, I was aiming for your face.'

Buy plastic fangs, stakes and garlic for all of the vampires' birthdays

Throw holy water on the vampires while you scream, "BACK DEMON!"

Throw a crucifix at Carlisle

Scream when the Cullens go into the sunlight (cloudy or not)

Buy Jacob a kennel for his birthday

Tell Edward that technically, he's a pedophile since he's 107 and Bella is 19

Tell Jacob and Quil that they are pedophiles since they are in love with babies.

Hang garlic and crosses around Bella's room and tell her you have to sleep over at her house so she doesn't get bitten by any vampires.

Make dog tags for the Quileute boys and cry when they won't wear them.

Steal Bella's e-mail and e-mail Eric, Tyler, and Mike, asking them to go out.

Call Tanya and tell her that Edward ditched Bella for her.

When Jacob sits on the couch, yell at him to get off, you don't want dog hair on it.


End file.
